the beat is a lightly remixed version of 100th Sight by Kapluckus (a Gregory Residence band consisting of Constance Waddell, Michael Gregory, Jamie Forrest, Stuart Harrison and Jacob Crigler)–find the original song here:
MB:
It is time to stand up and say
We get to choose
We get to choose
It’s one of the two
liberty or tyranny
EG: can we please choose something in between? mediocrity?
MG: chastity?
HW: puppetry?
OB: obesity?
JE: marijuanity? pretty please?!
MB: The underlying bill represents the tyranny of the government
It’s our choice, what will we choose today?
Will we choose liberty, or will we choose tyranny?
MG: it all depends–who gets to be the tyrant?
SG: I thought this bill was about the climate
NP: Just remember these 4 words
For what this legislation means
Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs
Let’s vote for jobs
CC: and jobs
NP: and jobs
CC: don’t forget about jobs
Speaker: Those in favor say “aye”.
CC: AAAAYYE!
Speaker: Those opposed, “no”.
JB:
Hell no! Hell no! Hell noooooooo!!
The fight that we have between the 2 sides of the aisle boils down to one word:
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom that will allow the American people to live their lives
hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell no!
Nano Man: hell no!
JB: hell noooooooo!
Nano Man: hell no!
That will allow America to flourish, allow jobs to flourish, and allow freedom to flourish!
hell noooooooo!
———————
SP:
I’m not wired to operate under the same old politics as usual.
With this announcement that I’m not seeking re-election, I’ve determined that it’s best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell.
RS:
Hey, could she be pregnant?
EG: Pregnant with ideas bout how to run for president!
CW:
Interesting and perhaps successful strategy to win her the presidency.
MG: To win you gotta quit!
EG: To quit you gotta win!
MG: the chips are on the table -
WK: She’s really all in.
But it’s high risk.
JL:
The people who like her
Are still gonna like her
The people who have doubts about her
Are just gonna have the same doubts
EG: No doubt
JL: Same doubts
MG: SHAWTAYEE
All: Same doubts!
———————-
Couric:
What do you do if you have Tylenol and other medications with acetaminophen?
JE: I take a fistful of pills
and get busy mixin em in my gin
What about Vicodin and Percocet? Will they be banned ultimately?
JE: Not if I can help it!
You know it’s unconstitutional
To take away my God-given pharmaceuticals
———————–
BO: I have warned that one day
Michael Jackson would wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
Meredith, I had warned everyone–
SG: –He told you so
BO: –one day we’re going to have this experience
I feared this day
And here we are
Keith, people often die
for very strange reasons
They wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
EG: wakin up
MG: wakin up
BO: wakin up
KC: wakin up
EG: wakin up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie
…….whoo!
—————————————- ———–
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Urgent issues call for equally urgent harmonies, and they are provided by politicians, pundits, and gorillas alike in this chapter of news opera.
mp3 available–
http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune…
Lyrics:
EG: Ay, nah nah, hey hey, nah nah ay oh
MG: I agree
EG: Where all the shawties on the court?
JS: It’s ridiculous, one woman on the Supreme Court, uh, doesn’t seem right to me.
EG: Ain’t nobody have a breakfast with all sausage and no eggs.
MG: We need a shawty with a hot body and sexy legs.
EG: When the court convenes it’s an ancient sausage festival.
MG: Only two ovaries, sixteen testicles..
BB: There are so many qualified women out there.
MG: Qualified to get low in they apple-bottomed robe.
MB: I completely agree with you.
EG: And I complete agree, too.
MG: How does Ginsburg stand being the only woman who ain’t a man?
BB: Judge Ginsburg said, she’s really very lonely without another woman.
MG, EG, BB: Without another woman, lonely without another woman!
EG: I know what it’s like with a woman gone, cryin in the nude with the curtains drawn.
MB: Breaking news!
EG, MG: Oh snap! News is broken! Breaking news, in ya face!
MB: Obama has picked Sonia Sotomayor.
EG, MG: She’s a shawty, She’s a Boricua!
EG: Jurisprudent!
JS: With soft thighs!
MG: And other soft features, that Ginsburg can appreciate, stayin up late, makin sure to thank
heaven above.
EG: because she ain’t
All: lonely without another woman, lonely without another woman!
EG: Listen up, y’all, Joe Biden’s got a shout out!
This one goes out to all the serbians
And also the ladies
But mostly the Serbians
JB: And until the Serbian people
Look themselves in the face
Understand what their leaders have done
And convinced them of
Until that moment arrives
Serbian people will not
Be able to shed this notion of victimization
That all of their leaders prey upon
And manipulate them with
Until that moment arrives
Until the Serbian people look themselves in the face
Until that moment arrives
Until that moment arriiiiiiiiives
KC: April showers bring May flowers
But what do May flowers bring?
AG: Romance for a shawty
KC: Possibly lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf::
KC: Lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf, barf:: I’m gettin sick like
::Barf, barf, barf, barf, barf::
KC: Before you dig in and start to enjoy all the
Fruits and vegetables of your labor
AG: Shawty
KC: You’d better get your soil tested first
AG: Oh
KC: Your soil tested first
AG: Oh, I live in the ghetto
So I’ll expect the worst
KC: Paint chippings and old pesticides
May be buried insiiiiide
AG: Me, oh my
KC: Raising the level of lead in the soil
The tests are inexpensive
And some local health departments
Do them for freeeeeeee
AG: Even for a talking head thug like me?
KC: Once you’re in the clear
Mary, Mary quite contrary
Plant away
AG: Okay
And when asked how does your garden grow
Tell them it’s healthy, green and lead-free
AG: I’ll say it’s healthy, green and lead-free, shawty
KC: Healtheeeeeee
AG: Healtheeeeeee, believe me
I ain’t tryna munch on a poison zucchini
NG: This bill actually has the secretary of energy
Regulating jacuzzis
Now, the ideastrikes me
As close to being nuts
AG: I agree–I’m an angry gorilla and that makes me angry
JI: The only jacuzzis this will regulate
Will have to produce 2,500 mega watts of energy
AG: You made me angry with lies
Hurt my angry gorilla pride; I’m angry
NG: On page 233, uh
Line 5: portable electric spas
All: Portable electric spas!
MG: No spa is above the law!
NG: Now, I don’t know what a portable electric spa is
I was told it was a jacuzzi
But that’s in this bill
AG: So it’s true!
I’m no longer angry at you
My original anger’s renewed
JI: We will give you a hot spa
That is energy efficient
I hope that doesn’t offend you
AG: He might have a point
My anger’s makin a switch
Cuz you’re being a little b*$&
But maybe not
Maybe you’re just defending freedom and justice for jacuzzis
ohhhhhh
What’s this? a single tear that is wet that i shed
When an angry gorilla cries
Who’s gonna be there to dry his eyes?
And when an angry gorilla’s depressed
Who’s gonna heal him with a soft caress?
Ooh ooh ah ah, the tears are rolling down my cheeks
Ooh ooh ah ah, liquid sorrow that my eyes excrete
And I’m a soulja, but a soulja’s got feelings,
Don’t know whom to lend my anger to,
And that’s why I’m crestfallen and confused