Auto-Tune the News #12: weed. lesbian allegaytions.

18
Jun
0

The possibility of California marijuana legalization and suggestion of Supreme Court lesbianism inspire rousing choruses from concerned/excited news personalities. mp3 download: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune…

Produced by The Gregory Brothers. More on us:

http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers

ATTN shirts: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tun…

Lyrics:

The market value of pot would go down, down, down if we legalize it
Then supersize it
Right now, now, now
$4,000 an ounce
That’s way too much
$400 an ounce
That’s ten times the blunts
We need to smoke a little more pot, right? right right now, now, now

That huge profit margin would go down, down, down if pot were legal
For the needy people
Right now, now, now
Does it lead to harder drugs?
No more than cigarettes
No, absolutely not
It leads to happiness
We need to smoke a little more pot, right? right. Right now, now, now

A photo of supreme court nominee Elena Kagan shows Kagan playing softball
Uh, uh…
That’s been sort of a signal like 2 men sunbathing together on a beach
Or something like that
The immediate implication is that they’re gay
That’s all, I’ve, I’ve known that for a long time
And as soon as I saw that picture
I knew the implication:
She’s gay, she’s gay!
I saw the allegation:
she’s gay, she’s gay!
Her sexual orientation
Significant in her confirmation
Is she gaaaaay? (a lesbian, lesbian)
Is she gaaaaaay? (a gay, gay lesbian)
Is she gaaay? (GAY)
Is she gaaay? (GAY)
Is she gaaaaaay? (a gay lesbian, lesbian)

Gay, gay, gay, gay like two men sunbathing together on a beach (3x)
Or something like that
The White House denies her gayness
But she got Village People on her iPod playlist

::laughing/chuckling/chortling::

There’s nothing wrong with a little levity
When we’re short on thoughts and long on brevity

::bantering::

Is she gaaaaay? (a lesbian, lesbian)……
we’re having a conversation
about the implication
of sexual orientation
a silly allegation
of extreme exaggeration
and pointless information
when it comes to confirmation

You would have to smooooke
14 joints in 1960
Today minus 50
To get just as hiiiigh
As in 2010 with just 1 joint
Goin back in time always disappoints
Isn’t that amazing?
It’s gonna be crazy in 2060

If we legalize marijuana
It would be a very dark day
In California
Dark with smooooke
Very bad idea
Would it balance our budget?
It would not!
Half of voters favor legalizing pot
If we legalize marijuana
It would be a dark, dark day
Very bad!
A dark, dark best day I’d ever have
A dark, dark, dark, dark, dark dark day.

Obama Sings Kick Ass Song??

10
Jun
0

Obama declares his intent to kick somebody’s ass, though determining the specific ass to be kicked may require an executive task force. The aggression of this declaration is made all the more resounding by its delivery as a dark, looming hip hop single.

Matt Lauer and Sarah Gregory contribute vocals and interviewing expertise.

original Today Show interview:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/3756684…

Produced by the Gregory Brothers:

http://www.thegregorybrothers.com

youtube/twitter/facebook:

http://www.youtube.com/autotunethenews
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers

Auto-Tune the News #11: Pure Poppycock. (ft. Joel Madden)

6
Apr
0

mp3: http://bit.ly/bVtip3

Broadcasters become stars and stars become broadcasters as an ominous hip-hop sample infuses the news of the day. Joel Madden guests as a fictional CBS correspondent. UPDATE: any resemblance the intentional performers may bear to media personalities living or dead is purely coincidental.

Find Joel Madden online:
http://www.goodcharlotte.com
http://www.twitter.com/JoelMadden

Mike Penny shreds the shamisen. His YouTube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/mikepenny01

Need more auto-tuned news in your life? Subscribe! Or find us elsewhere:
http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews

Lyrics available in the closed captions (turn the on at the bottom-right-hand corner of the youtube player)!
and here:

NF: You have the charisma of a damp rag!
Gorilla: Damp rag!
NF: You have the appearance of a bank clerk!
Gorilla: Bank Clerk!
NF: Who are you? I’d never heard of you!
Gorilla: Eat my poo!
NF: Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you!
But I have no doubt that it’s your intention
To be the quiet assassin of European democracy.
Perhaps that’s because you come from Belgium
Which of course, is pretty much a non-country.
We don’t know you, we don’t want you!
The sooner you’re put out to grass, the better!
We don’t like you, we don’t want you!
Gorilla: Our logic and reason have proved you wrong!
Bølverk: Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong!
Gorilla: Don’t make me have to start World War III !
Bølverk: Bring it on, these guns are WMD!
NG: We don’t know you, we don’t want you!
We don’t like you, we don’t want you!

KC: Last month, comedian Bill Cosby
was surprised to read that he died.
JM: How can he read if he’s dead?
KC: Chief Justice John Roberts
was the last to know he resigned.
JM: Maybe he should check his head!
KC:All of those stories, of course are pure poppycock
that proliferated online.
JM: I do it all the time, makin up s— is so sublime.
KC: But that of course is little solace for the reader
who simply wants to surf the web
without getting pulled under by a riptide of lies.
JM: You can’t protect the web from a–holes like me, shorty!
KC: Truth can rip through cyberspace as quickly as lies
Bloggers gnaw at new information like piranhas in a pool
JM: Don’t play me for a fool you know as well as I,
we’re both getting owned by the
Both: Rip, riptide of lies
pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies
Pure poppycock!
I want to surf, surf the web
without getting pulled under
by a rip, riptide of lies!

GB: You hit on a guy at a wedding.
EM: I I So
GB: Explain that one first.
EM: Okay, so we’re at a wedding, New Year’s Eve,
everyone had too much to drink.
There were 300 people there,
I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her,
I grabbed a bachelor.
Now they’re sayin I groped a male staffer!
Yeah, I did! - Um. - Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Staffers: A manly back-rub. Just a back rub!
EM: We all live together, all the bachelors and me.
Staffers: Naked in the tub!
EM:You can take anything out of context!
Staffers:Huggin!
EM: You can take anything out of context!
Staffers: Scrubbin!
EM: You can take anything out of context!
Staffers: Rubbin and humpin!
EM: Yeah!
Staffers: Ticklin and jumpin!
EM: Yeah, yeah! I tickled him till he couldn’t breathe,
then four guys jumped on me.
It’s my fiftieth birthday.
GB: Whether you’re telling the truth or not,
An avalanche is coming your way.
An avalanche of lies,
SG: pulled under by an avalanche of lies!
KC/JM: Pure poppycock!
GB: Whether you’re telling the truth or not,
SG: you’re guaranteed to get caught
Both: in an avalanche of lies!

Staffer: Massa staffers! Droppin a St. Bernard of truth
But we already drank the brandy
My boss tickles me like a true G,
He straddles me so masculine
No stoppin’ when i’m askin’ him
When he cootchie-coo my armpits, i’m a goner
Tryna pretend that i don’t notice his boner!
Tryna distract him with headlines from China
He just drop his drawers and pull out his vagina!

——–
Staffers:
Whenever you hear the boss swaggerin down the hall,
you know he gonna drop a double cup on your tennis balls!
You have to be a soldier, a real man,
to soothe a male staffer with the stroke from a tender hand!
Ain’t nothin wrong with a Massa massage
when you’re in a chronic platonic quintuple menage!
The entourage gripped in a bear hug that they can’t escape
Tryna pretend they don’t notice when he ejacu- -

Auto-Tune the News: Behind the Scenes with the Gregory Brothers

6
Apr
0

The Gregory Brothers let you peek behind the magic curtain and reveal the secrets behind Auto-Tune the News.

Auto-Tune the News #11 coming on Monday (April 5th)! To see the rest of the series click here: http://www.youtube.com/show/autotunethenews

Find us on the site of your choice:
http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews

Auto-Tune the News #9: Nobel. health care. United Nations.

16
Oct
0

presidents and prime ministers sing in harmony. Love and happiness abounds. Get the mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune…

Donations:
http://www.thegregorybrothers.com

Lyrics:

HC: Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
Seamos un tilín mejores
Y un poco menos egoístas
Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
Huele esperanza
FR: In this common endeavor
Huele esperanza
GB: All of us work together
HC: Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
BO: We must embrace a new era of engagement
Because the time has come
UN Choir: To smell the hope!
GB: For growth to be sustained
It has to be shared

UN Choir: ohhh, We can smell the hope!
BO: The time has come
UN Choir: To smell a better world!!
FR: A better world to live in for future generations everywhere.

AG: Don’t get sick
That’s right, don’t get sick
If you have insurance, don’t get sick
If you don’t have insurance, don’t get sick
If you’re sick, don’t get sick
Just don’t get sick
That’s the Republicans’ health care plan
CC: He has a chart
AG: An angry chart
CC: A chart that helps us learn!
AG: ooh ooh ah ah
If you get sick in America, die quickly
That’s right–the Republicans want you to die quickly if you get sick
AG: I agree!
CC: He agrees!
AG: Angrily!
CC: Cuz he’s angry!

KO: Afford to live?
Are we at that point?
Are we so heartless?
How can we not be united against death?
Us: My BFF Gilgamesh knows eternal life’s an impossible quest

The resources exist for your father and mine to get the same treatment
Us: Yeah, we’re in agreement
But first we gotta lay down some
All: High speed rail
Us: Bail out some
All: Banks
Us: Save your daddy with the leftover change

KO: How can we be so heartless?
Us: We’re nihilists!
KO: How can we be so heeeeaaartless?
Us: We’re tryna die quick!
KO: What more obvious role could government have
Than the defense of the life of each citizen?

KC: How is the Nobel Peace Prize decided?
BS: Well, uh, that is what people were asking all day today
Bølverk: We mix a secret potion,
And roll the ancient dice,
Then hire a focus group
And have a human sacrifice.
KC: A lot of people are asking today why do you think the committee elected President Obama?
Bølverk: I believe a prize for peace should go to the biggest wuss.
BS: They were giving Obama a prize for not being George Bush.
Choir: They can smell the hope!!
KC: Take a deep breath!
Choir: And hope a smelly world!
KC: A deep breath!
FR: A better world to live in for future generations everywhere

Secretary Chung and President Obama Auto-Tune Health Care

16
Oct
0

Barack Obama and Alexa Chung (the newly appointed Secretary of Real Talk) explain health care reform the only way people will understand–through song and dance. Stay caught up with Alexa online for more real talk:

http://twitter.com/ItsOnALexa
http://www.facebook.com/itsonalexa?re…

watch the g. bros on It’s On with Alexa Chung:

http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/alexa_chu…

Lyrics:

Shawtayee, as you can clearly see
I spent my cash tryna fix my knee
Sold my car and both my kidneys
How am I supposed to live if my fridge is out of cheese?

No on in America should go broke because they get sick
Real talk, gotta save cash money
Let’s take that money
And we’ll all be sittin pretty
Let’s put it in the kitty

Yeah, we’re gonna make it right
Kill your granny and save your life
Next question

Ooh! Thanks for callin in me
I never thought I’d be on national TV
But why you gotta change the way things work
When Jesus Christ said we’re the best country in the universe?

We’re paying $6,000 more than any other advanced country
And we’re not healthier
Says here you’re all fatties
We’re not healthier
Cut down on the beef patties

Refrain

If you were floating through space
And you could only say one thing
Tell me what would you say?
Shawtay, what would you say?

There is a moment in the life of every generation
When that spirit of hopefulness has to come through
Let’s work together, it’s time to rock
Neighborhood by neighborhood, block by block
County by county, state by state
We decide in our guts when we are determined

Refrain

God bless America!